Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
