so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
she pinky promised me she was 18
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
