Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
