I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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