Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We left the knife in your bed.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
