so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
