office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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