I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Randomize
