How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
