craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
