The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
