you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm at about main and main street
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
