i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
