just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
