I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm having to shit out rocks
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
