Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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