It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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