You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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