Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
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