What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You ruined the universe
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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