Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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