office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
