just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
