My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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