dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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