I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
