tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
