So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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