It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Enjoy the penises
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
