fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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