I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
