So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
