i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
