there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
