you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
