New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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