I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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