How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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