whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
