Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
