More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
