you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
