I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
