She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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