Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
