I just gift wrapped bread.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
