I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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