you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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