So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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