He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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