Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
