we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I forgot how hot balto sounded
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize