i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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