I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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