If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
