i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
