Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
