I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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