Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
