you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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