The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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