If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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