did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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