i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
