I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
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let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize